Are You Selling Yourself for Love and Approval?

Are you neglecting your wishes and your desires for somebody else’s approval?  Are you giving others control of your Being for crumbs of love? Are you living in an environment which is totally incongruent with who you are?

How many of you play small?  How many of you compromise and tolerate so much in order to get a little dose of other’s exclamation that ‘you are okay’? How much do you do and suck up so others don’t disapprove of you, or criticize you for being yourself? How many of other peoples’ ‘should’s’ and ‘have to’s’ are you ingesting into your Being that totally pollutes and dilutes the REAL you?

There are so many relationships out there which on the surface seem to function. But what really happens too much is that one has the power and the control over the other.  Feeding them ‘love and approval’ if the other behaves in a certain way.  If not, love and approval is withdrawn… until the other person will again be ‘good’ and is deserving of their love.

So you start being ‘good’ again and a never-ending loop has been created.

This is BSL: If you need to behave a certain way, do certain things, be a certain way – which is totally and utterly rejecting and deserting the person who you really are – in order to be loved. Is that a life you want to live? To become a stranger to yourself!

Are you putting up with a shitty entree and main in order to get a beautiful and delicious desert? Great! Desert was awesome. But what price did you pay for it?  The price of selling your Self for love and approval. The price of struggling with low self-confidence, self-doubt, and a diminished self-worth?

My favourite quote is:  “It is better to be hated for who you are than for being loved for who you are not!”

So in what ways are you selling yourself short for crumbs of love and approval?  What price do you pay for a delicious desert?

Some suggestions:

• Question the motives of your behavior – especially when it does not feel right.
• Ask yourself how far you are willing to compromise – is it going too far away from your values, standards and beliefs?
• Investigate feelings of guilt/shame.
• Listen to you intuition/gut feeling.
• Take time out for yourself to gain self-awareness.

You have to start to be true to yourself!  You have to start to stand up for your values and beliefs!  You have to live a life which is congruent with who you are. You cannot push the cork of who you are under the water forever!  This will make you sick and unhappy, frustrated, furious and angry – and you become a person you are not – nor you want to be.

I challenge you to give up selling yourself for other’s love and approval and start to love and approve of your Self.  Live is too short to chase somebody to fill the hole in your soul. To give your power away. You are not on this earth to chase outside happiness. You are not here to chase love from others.

Do things which make you happy! Do things which bring you joy! Start smelling the roses… and if there are none – for God’s sake start planting some in your garden of life and start living a life you love!

Wishing you Love and Light in all ways and always
Jutta