The Magic of Changing Your Perception

For the people who never heard this term, it might sound a bit technical. But believe it, it is not. ‘Perceptional Positioning’ is a very useful tool which can be used for achieving better and more effective communication in any relationship. It is simple and can also help you to achieve greater awareness and insights which will in turn, improve your relationships.

This tool can be used when communicating with your loved ones or in business.

There are basically three positions.
The first position is your Self – with your reality. This should be the easy one. How you see, hear, feel about the situation, seeing it from your own world view.

The second position is all about the other person’s reality and what they see, hear and feel in the same situation.

The third position is the (objective) observer. The observer is neutral, and sees the things without any emotional attachment or charge.

Stepping in each of this positions will give you different insights and an awareness you will not get if you just stay in Position 1. It might give you additional choices, different ideas of actions, or a new effective communication style.

Let’s try this with an issue you have had in the not so distant past.
You had a disagreement with your child or spouse for example. To practice this tool take a situation which emotional affected you – say on a Scale of 2 to 3 (out of 10). Outlay the positions on the floor.

Step into Position 1: What do you see, hear and feel in this exchange of words, or the situation. Go and replay it in your mind. Stepping into your own position should be easy. Then, get out of the position and ‘break state’ (shake your position off).

Step into Position 2: Pretend you are in the other’s person shoes, or stepping into the other person’s world. How does the situation occur to them with their believes, attitudes, filters, etc. What do they see, hear or feel? – ‘Break state’ shake this position off, and proceed to …

Position 3:
Step into the ‘observer’ position. The observer has no emotion attached to the interaction between Position 1 and 2.

• What insight/awareness do you get from the observer’s position?
• How does the observer see this situation?
• Analyze what is going on?
• Where do both parties come from?
• Is there a common ground?
• What are the intentions of both? … etc.

After you ‘break state’ go back into Position 1. Apply any new insights, different choices, or options for other actions.

Step back into Position 2 and see if anything has shifted.
(Please note: if no insights present themselves – repeat cycle!).

You might want to re-visit the situation/disagreement with the other person and make amends, or you can use these insights in future situations.

You can also apply ‘Perceptional Positioning’ in the moment a situation is presenting itself.

Important Note:

People who are too much in Position 1 can be very selfish and egoistic.

People who are too much in Position 2 are tending to be co-dependent, and totally disregard the well-being of Self.

Position 3 is very useful for people working in the ambulance service, police, Life Line, etc. These occupations require the ability to emotionally detach from situations to enable them to be mentally in peak performance states.

I hope you find this tool beneficial in your life. If you need clarification or help, please contact me.

Wishing you Love and Light in all Ways and always!
Jutta