What I have learnt along the way….

Well, I thought maybe it is time to tell you a bit about myself….

I was born in Germany in 1961 (yes, a while ago). Same day and year as the Lady Di by the way J. Since I was 8, I wanted to emigrate to Canada or Australia. Well, I made it to Down Under, and 30 years later I am still here.

My childhood was ‘normal’ – however, I always felt the people close to me didn’t really like me (except for my Dad). Apparently, I always had the last word, rarely did what I was asked. Basically, I was a bit of a disobedient, challenging child (especially in my teenage years) – the rebel and black sheep.

After I finished school, I started to work for the German Weather Service, and I had my first serious relationship. However, a few years down the track physical abuse reared its ugly head the first time. I returned to live with my parents, which he didn’t accept very lightly, and it lead to a quite traumatic incident where I feared for my life.

After a few years (1985) I moved to Australia with my first husband. He was a nice guy, but emotional unavailable. Divorced. He went back to Germany, I stayed.

Marriage No. 2. Experienced domestic violence again – starting pretty much at the beginning of my first pregnancy. After a short break from him, I went back because of fear to be by myself with a child and no family nearby.

Child no. 2. My self-esteem disappeared ‘below the carpet’, quite diminished to crumbs. He was intimidating, controlling and abusive. I didn’t know who I was anymore, I felt extremely crappy about myself, I was deeply unhappy, desperate, depressed, and absolutely sad and frightened. I had no goals nor any ambitions. My sparkle I used to have was extinguished by sadness, fear and hopelessness.

How could this happen to me? I was always easy going, down to earth, creative and thought myself as fairly intelligent, and unique. How did I end up here? After 6 years he left. (Not surprising to note that whilst I was married to him, I had my first experiences of panic attacks).

A few years went by and I went through a very hard time with one of my children. Feeling left out (I had a boyfriend now), having witnessed domestic violence in younger years, and I presume various other factors, led my child to become a very angry and destructive young human being. This time was the worst in my life – to basically helplessly watch your child going down a totally wrong path which only could lead to suffering, loss, and misery (i.e. morgue, jail or institution). To tell you the truth, I would have loved to have a ‘nervous breakdown’ during this time – but it was not an option, I guess. Today, I believe, part of this problematic and destructive behavior was a reflection of MY own low self-worth, self-love and self-respect. I don’t wish anybody to go through anything like this. Thanks God, it all had a happy ending – but it took quite a few years.

My interest for personal development and human behavior started when I became a member of Al-Anon in the 90’s (a 12-Step-Program for family and friends of Alcoholics and Addicts). After husband No. 2 left, and at the age of 38 with two little children, I decided to do my VCE (High School Certificate) in order to study psychology. I did not end up studying but after a few years started my coaching journey.

Over time my passion developed into helping women to get out of the rut of low self-esteem, self-doubt and procrastination. I love to witness when great women finally raise up and discover their Feminine Power and become autonomous and independent in creating their lives. To connect with their true human Self and shine!

This is my wish for you – if you are in a situation or living a life which suffocates your spirit and your spark, or crushes and silences your soul!

I am the person I am today because what I have experienced along my journey. It is never too late to leave your familiar existence and create a brighter future for yourself.

One day when I had enough, I moved forward one step at a time. Creating change from the inside out.

A few things I have learned……

• You cannot accept anything from others what you are not willing to do yourself
• Don’t try to change things you cannot change
• Don’t give up on your teenage kids
• Regrets are a waste of time and energy
• Live and let live
• You are only responsible for your actions, inactions, decision and feelings
• Don’t try to clean up other peoples’ backyards – if yours is a fricken mess
• Your health is your biggest asset (and stress is not good for it)
• Don’t compare yourself to others – you are a proto-type
• Be proud of who you are! Stand tall!Believe in your worth, and love and respect yourself (otherwise how can you expect others to do the same)

The latest stage on my self-development journey, and another new beginning: I left my nice little comfort zone, and financial security to jump into the big wide world again. After all, peace of mind and tranquility are priceless. A friend ask me recently: ‘How many times have you started up? I have tried to count. But it doesn’t matter. Life is a journey, life is a progression, and nothing is as constant as change. I decided to live my life by design and not by chance. That could mean a few more endings and beginnings – but so be it. Life is a continuous journey of growth, lessons, insights, decisions, letting go’s, etc. If you are stagnant and content you are starting to go backwards.

Wishing you Love and Light in all Ways and always!
Jutta